Say Goodnight ... Not Goodbye...

This update is really hard to write, and was even harder to experience. It was the day i was dreading from the day i booked my ticket to go back to Uganda. Sunday after church Collin, Amy, Hilary and i head out to 1000 cups for lunch, the craft market for some last minute shopping, and then to Nsambya for what would be my last time. I had a great day, and it was awesome to be with amazing friends who just make me laugh. They knew exactly what i would need and that was SO wonderful!

We had lunch and a great conversation. I am pretty sure that their number 1 goal was to make me laugh and help me forget about what was going to happen shortly. Many things happened that just cracked us up... Like Hilary trying a kumquat for the first time... WHICH a friend of mine swears is such a great fruit. I have tried one, and know just how awful they taste, but i might have left that part out.

As you can see.. it was NOT a pleasant experience .. however it made me laugh. AND knowing the kind heart of this amazing friend ... she would have done anything to make me laugh or make the day less difficult. In fact.. she ate 2 of them JUST so we could document the moment with a picture for future laughing.. now THAT Is a great friend, because having tried the Kumquat ... i'm can guarantee that i'm NOT that good of a friend. haha.

After lunch we went to Nsambya. It was a very emotionally confusing day to say the least. I knew that if i didn't go home, i couldn't start the paperwork required to bring her home for good... but the LAST thing i wanted to do was to leave her behind. We spent the afternoon with her. She definitely enjoys the company. When i walked in she was in her room, with roommate Mick Paul, alone. She saw me and gave me the best smile immediately before she started crying as if to say you better get over here quicker and Pick me up! She may not talk but she certainly knows how to get her point across that is for sure. Uncle Collin was the DJ for our dance party. She already has an opinion about music too which is awesome. There was a balloon in her room so we were playing with that as well. I was helping her to hit the balloon with her hand and she thought that was pretty funny. She obviously has NO idea how to play since no one ever just plays with her, BUT i am confident that she is going to be great at it hopefully one day soon! She smiled a lot while we were playing! I had printed pictures of the two of us together, and pictures of my family back home for her to have on the wall by her bed. I showed her the pictures and told her who everyone was so that she can see us while she is waiting for me to come back. She was VERY interested in the pictures. Almost as much as when she sees a picture of herself... so that is pretty great because she LOVES to see herself! haha

We were planning to go to the cultural center sunday night. I thought it would be a really great distraction the night i was leaving. WHICH while that was true, meant that i had to leave her sooner. Before i left the babies home, the head nun asked me if i was going to spend the night so i could stay with her longer. I told her that if i could i would or i would like to just put her in my suitcase. We laughed, but it wasn't really that funny. I knew time to go was coming so i asked Collin to translate for me. He told her everything i said, which was that i had to leave her, but that i was going to come back. He told her that she wouldn't see me but that i loved her very much. It was really hard. I think it was hard for everyone because Collin said ok she knows and left the room. When i picked her up and turned around Amy and Hilary had gone down stairs too. It was then that it really hit me. I hugged her tight and kissed her a few more times. Then laid her down in her bed. When i put her down she immediately started crying. ALL i wanted to do was to pick her back up but i knew that it would happen every time and that i just needed to go. I was SO thankful because at this point one of the "Mamma's" from the orphanage had come in and she picked her up. It was obviously NOT what Lola wanted, but at least made me feel better. Leaving her crying was awful but i am telling myself it isn't goodbye, it is just goodnight for now. There is a song that i heard originally on Dawsons Creek, that i have found myself listening to A LOT lately. WHO knew that good ol' dawsons creek would once again bring me such comfort... hahaha. However, the lyrics are very appropriate to my life situation and remind me that it is just a small amount of time to wait until we are together for good!

Say good night not goodbye By Chantal Kreviazuk

Say goodnight, not goodbye you will never leave my heart behind.

Like the path, of a star i'll be anywhere you are

In the spark that lies beneath the coals, In the secret place inside your soul.

Keep my life, in your eyes. Say goodnight, not goodbye.

Don't you fear, when you dream. Waking up is never what it seems.

Like a jewel burried deep. Like a promise meant to keep.

You are everything you ought to be so just let your heart reach out to me.

I'll be right, by your side.

Say goodnight, not goodbye.

I was really thankful to have ALL of them there with me because that meant that i wouldn't have to take a boda home on my own. When i walked out the door, Collin was standing there ready to give me a hug. WHICH was awesome... followed shortly by Amy and Hilary. I know that if i was on a boda alone, i would have probably cried the whole way home BUT I am pretty sure that Hilary's personal mission was to NOT allow that to happen. She might be one of the funniest people i have ever met and that was brought to a whole new level on our boda ride. First of all, our boda man surely was wearing a cowboy hat. I'd like to note for the record that he may be the ONLY Ugandan cowboy i have experienced. He happened to be a Ugandan Cowboy with an equally awesome sense of humor. We spent the next 10-15 minute drive through town with Hillary yelling out to passers by .. Ole otia ... which pretty much means Hello how are you. The attempt was to see how many would wave back. After a while, the boda man was pointing out possible people to yell to and having a lengthy discussion about why Ugandans LOVE muzungus (white people). The fun just continued while i held on for dear life because i was laughing so hard that falling off could have been a possibility at that moment. JUST when i thought that it couldn't get any better.. my boda experience was complete. We ran out of gas!!!!! We all had to get off the boda and walk it to the nearest gas station. Now normally that would have been an inconvenience and frustration... BUT it was so rediculous that we found it completely hilarious! SO glad that Hilary was able to snap a picture of me with the boda man taking care of our little problem.

All in all the day was extremely emotional, but i was really proud of myself for how well i actually handled leaving. I know for a fact that it would NOT have gone as well had i not been with my 3 amazing friends. It is crazy to me how God works, as i can see through this whole adoption experience in general. However a year ago I didn't know Hilary at all, and Collin and Amy were just new friends i had met by what i thought was chance. What I didn't know then, was that they would play a signficant role in my life, and Lola's. I will certainly never forget the love and support that i felt on one of the hardest days of my life thus far. I know that the next few months are going to be very difficult and trying emotionally as well as stressful and filled with anxiety, but i also know that these three friends of mine will be checking on her weekly and THAT is enough for me to be able to spend my time focusing on what i need to do here rather then thinking about what is happening for her there. It will be a LONG road ahead i know, but coming home is the first step and she is the prize and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Saturday night ... out on the town!

SO after the sponsorship meeting... Collin, Amy, Hilary, and I head out of the house for the night. We were going to visit Lola and then out for pizza. We grabbed two bodas and head for Nsambya. It was the first time Collin had seen her in a long time. I was really glad that he came because obviously he speaks lluganda. He is the first Ugandan i have seen who spoke to her like she understands. He was giving her directions and he said that what he was asking her to do, she did. He said he really thinks that she understands everything that you say to her. WHICH is encouraging ... but at the same time frustrating knowing that usually no one talks to her other then to say her name or tell her stop crying. :( BUT that will change in a few short months!

Here she is with Uncle Collin... he said that he would be going to visit her for me!

Here she is with Auntie Hilary. They are going to be good friends .. i can tell.

Especially after this picture.. She is clearly a rockstar and Auntie Hilary was the first to fully recognize her level of awesome. She could not look any cooler then she did rockin' some ray bans! She smiled her biggest smile yet not too long after this picture. I didn't get a picture of it because i couldn't look away from it long enough to grab my camera. BUT it was the most awesome moment ever and i can't wait until i see that smile more often!!!

We hung out there for a while and she loved all the attention. She definitely loves to see people visiting her that is for sure. It breaks my heart that I know she was SO happy towards the time i was leaving. She usually spends her time alone but i know that Amy, Hilary, and Collin will visit and love on her for me until i get back. AND THAT is what will make getting on the plane a little easier. Her personality is really starting to come out. She is certainly spunky and has an opinion about a lot of things that she may not be able to say yet.. but she has some facial expressions that say a LOT! Some of the other muzungu's said that she MUST be my kid with her attitude.. not sure how i feel about that .. BUT i'll claim her. haha

After we left Nsambya ... we went to Garden City for Pizza! Lets use the term pizza loosely.. however for what it was it was GREAT! The pizza was fine, but the best was the cupcake. Hilary and i shared a banana cupcake with chocolate frosting! Amazing.. UNTIL we all went home and got sick... because we are apparently not used to Americanish food anymore.. BUT it was an awesome day none the less...

Here we are with our Boda partners... or our dates.. whatever.. hahah

Me and Hilary... Amy and Collin...

You know you're good friends with you are hanging on for dear life while flying down the road on a boda at 40 miles an hour ... with no helmet. 3 people should NOT all fit on a motorcycle.. but TIA folks.. This is Africa! AND we love it!

Sponsorship Meeting

Saturday was the sponsorship meeting for July. I was really excited to be a part of it because i see pictures online and get a letter in the mail but i was thrilled to get to see Gloria and Tracy one more time before i left. It was NUTS!!! There were SO many kids there. Barclays bank donated soap, pencils, toilet paper, sugar, and pens for each of the kids so we were able to hand that out. It was awesome! First when they came in we fed them tea and bread. Here are Liz, Jillian, Ashley, and me filling tea in mugs.

Next we got going with singing. Craig and Hilary led praise and worship. It was SO awesome! Then we had to introduce ourselves, including our favorite word in Lluganda. Mine was Qua ga la Noy. WHICH means i love you very much. I was going to do Ja kuku ba.. which means i'll beat you ... but someone stole it. hahah

Gloria and her sister Bridget sang for everyone. It was SO cute and i was so proud. She is an awesome little singer... and SO brave to get up in front of everyone. Amy gave both of Gloria's sisters (Bridget and Sherri) a dress and they were SO excited!!!! Seeing the joy on their faces was fantastic!

2 VERY busy days!

One day at the orphanage, they suggested that i meet the attorney that they work with. Felix called a few times to set it up and she was very obviously not interested in meeting with us. She was clear that her schedule was very busy. BUT She would be able to give us a little time on Wednesday morning. So i had to be ready to leave the house by 7:30 to get in the taxi with Felix and where we needed to be at 8 to meet Vicki, the Attorney. I was SO nervous. I didn't know when i packed that i might be meeting an attorney, so i was stressed about my clothes. Thank goodness Hilary (my roommate) had a cute shirt that matched my skirt, and i happened to buy a necklace at the craft market that worked too. Not only was i worried about what i was wearing but the tone in the attorney's voice on the phone did not lead me to believe that she wanted to meet with us AT ALL even though she gave us a time, so i was worried that it wouldn't go well. The whole way there i prayed and prayed that it would go well, that i would ask the right questions, and that basically i could win her over because if i didn't, that would be really bad! When we got out of the taxi we had to walk to find it. We passed a restaurant called Red Apple, which i should have known was a positive sign... for those of you who know thats my FAVORITE restaurant at home.

When we walked in, the secretary asked why we were there and if we had an appointment. It seemed like they thought we didn't. My stomach hurt EVEN worse now because i didn't know what was happening They said we could sit down. I was SO glad that Felix was there because he speaks both languages.

When we walked in, Vicki stood and shook my hand. She was VERY professional, and a little stand offish... I was just doing my best not to throw up! We sat down and started talking. She wanted to know who i was and where i was from, who Felix was and where he comes from.. etc. I started talking about how this was my 2nd year back in Uganda, because i met a baby at Nsambya babies home, and i wanted to adopt her. Felix said her name was Scholastika. Vicki asked if she was by herself in another room, and when we said yes, her entire demenor changed. She sat back and put her hand on her heart. She said that she had been praying for a family for her, and that she knew exactly who she was. THEN i knew it was going to be ok. She shared with me that she was going to be traveling back and forth to the United States and introduced me to some other attorneys in her practice who i may talk with. She said they would do whatever they could to help. She was sure that Nsambya would give me guardianship, and that i could take her back to the US and finalize my adoption there. She told me a little bit about the process and what court would look like. She said that as soon as i have my home study complete, that i should email it and as soon as she receives it, she would put me in the cue for a court date. Her estimate was that i could have a court date as early as december, but most likely by February. When we were leaving she said that she didn't really want to meet with us, but she felt like God told her just give them 5 minutes. THEN she said that i had made her day. I was thinking Lady!! Are you kidding me!~ I made your day... you have NO idea!!! BUT i just said thank you so much for your time! ha. GOD IS GOOD!!!

Today when i got to Nsambya, they asked if i wanted to go with her to Therapy. I was a little hesitant, because my last experience with "therapy" was traumatic, and it wasn't even her. SO i didn't know how i would handle it. BUT i did want to go. SO Lola and i boarded a BODA... and went down the street to the hospital. YES ... i said it... A BODA! I was totally freaking out about how i was going to hold on to the Boda, and Lola. I was thinking SO much more about crashing then i ever do when it is just me riding it. BUT i see little kids on Bodas all the time so i figured. TIA and when in Africa, do as the Africans ... so off we went. When i got there, the Nuns all knew who i was also, which was kinda cool. I was happy that i was able to speak with the woman who does her therapy. She clearly didn't understand when i told her what i do, because she tried to explain Cerebral Palsy to me. BUT i just listened like i had no idea. Therapy at the hospital resembles home therapy to me but something is WAY better then nothing. She hates it, but they don't talk to her while they do it either, so she just cries. It was definitely better "therapy" then the last time that i went at the other babies home, so i will take it!

In the afternoon i went back to Nsambya to hang out with Lola, and Sarah Fisher. She was in Uganda last year, and like myself, came back for another summer. She has been saying ALL along that i should adopt her, and so when she found out that i was coming back and would be here, she said she was coming to hang out at the babies home with me. So she has come a few times to see Lola with me, and also on her own. She has promised that she will check on her while i am gone too.. WHICH is very appreciated by me! We spent some time on her board. She HATES it because she has to hold her head up and the weight bearing in her shoulders hurts, since it isn’t something that is EVER done.. BUT she likes to read Dr. Seuss while she is there, and she tends to forget that she wants to complain if we sing or read a book.

She likes to help turn the pages.

Right now i have to help her.. but pretty soon she will learn to do it by herself.

After she had spent some time on her stomach, we took her and Mick Paul (her roommate) outside to the playground. Sarah LOVES him so we take him when we go! Lola likes to be there. I don’t know if it is that she likes it outside, or if she really likes the swings, but either way she is happy to be there. It was a really great day!

Here is Sarah and Mick Paul

I LOVE her face here! She really liked it ... i promise! Although this face looks like she doesn't!

Blessings in disguise

We have been spending a lot of time in the evening with no power. While it could be VERY easy to find it frustrating we are all learning just how awesome it can be. We have been learning a new meaning to the verse of John 8:12.

I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

We usually spend the evenings on our laptops (like i am doing right now) on facebook. The crazy thing is that we have come across the world to Africa, but find that it is incredibly easy to "go home" with the click of a button. This is certainly a good thing on days when you miss your family. However it is also a really easy way to keep yourself from fully engaging in being here. Sadly it took the power going out for us to realize how much fun we can have together... We usually spend the power outages playing "Mafia."

Mafia is a great game! There are 5 roles you can have, storyteller, mafia, doctor, police officer, and villager. The storyteller is the only participant allowed to talk. They also are the only one who knows which player is which part. They tell everyone to “go to sleep” (close their eyes). They wake each character up one at a time starting with the mafia. If you are the mafia, your job is to 'kill' off the villagers without being discovered. If you are the doctor, your job is to save the person the mafia ‘kills’ by guessing who you want to save. The police officer has to try and guess who the mafia is, then if they are correct, convince all the other villagers to vote that person out of the village. If you are a villager, your job is to figure out who is the mafia, all while trying to stay alive. If you talk too much you quickly become a suspect.. however if you don’t talk enough you’re a suspect too! The game ends when either the Mafia is discovered and voted out.. OR all of the villagers are out. This game is hilarious.. and you find out quickly that your friends.. are NOT … your friends! It gets serious .. ha

We have found that some of the best time we have had at the house happen when there is no power. We have been learning that we can enjoy each other more and have awesome discussions when the power is out. That we do not NEED our laptops and internet because hanging out together is a great time as well. We realized more clearly when the power came back, and we all went back to our own lives on our computers, that possibly we weren’t taking it seriously enough being here with awesome people, and getting to know them. We are learning that the light of life, really has absolutely nothing to do with luxuries you may think you need … like power. It has been awesome!

Back to herself... FINALLY!

Today was a great day! Lola was NOT happy when i got to Nsambya because she had just come back from Therapy. She was crying her eyes out, and clearly not happy. I took her out of her chair and played with her on my lap for a little bit. I got her some water, and changed her diaper. I also changed her clothes, because i had brought a cute outfit for her to wear! She was happier after that. She seems to like it when i dress her... i think she knows when they put her in an outfit that looks like a hot mess. I think this girl can appreciate a cute outfit, that is for sure! This one is from our friends at Red Apple. THEY are the best! :)

She actually did well with the water this time too which was exciting. I got out my ipod because i have the Dr. Seuss ABC book on it, and started to read it with her. I used her finger to turn the pages. She thought it was pretty interesting because she followed along the WHOLE time! It was SO cool! She sat in my lap and looked at it the whole time... I haven't seen her maintain focus for that long since i have been here. Probably because she doesn't have anyone maintain focus on her for as long as i do.. but i think it shows potential. When i got my camera out, she sat forward in her chair and looked to me like she was posing. She LOVES to see herself on my camera.

What i love about sunday...

Weekends.. MIGHT be my favorite. OK that’s a lie.. Going to the projects is obviously great, and it doesn’t get better then being with Lola BUT typically on the weekend is when we go out in Kampala, and have fun. Saturday morning 7 of us girls hopped on Boda’s and hit up the craft market. We were pretty much a parade of Muzungu’s going through town. It was SUPER fun. We are not supposed to be on Bodas because they aren’t exactly safe.. BUT doin’ bad things is Fun! Haha SO off we went.

Here are some of the girls (and Douglas and baby Abigail) who i spent most of my time with. They are awesome and i love them SO much!

Sunday after church we went out to eat at Café’ Java. It is a VERY American restaurant. The food even LOOKS American! It is totally expensive BUT totally worth it! It is the first time that I would even have considered eating meat in Africa… BUT I figure that since I haven’t eaten it yet, why start now.. SO I got this amazing bean and avocado wrap with fries. THEN came the best part.. dessert!! It was CRAZY the ice cream sundaes that we got. Two or three of us had to share them they were that big! It was awesome!

After we were done at Cafe Java, everyone came with to drop me off at Nsambya. Maggie and Mallory were leaving and they hadn't met her yet. It was a bummer because when i got there she was NOT happy. She wasn't feeling very friendly so it wasn't a very AWESOME time to meet her. However everyone thought that she was super cute! When i took her upstairs not only was it time for her to eat but she had a foul diaper too!!! I would have been crabby too! Once i changed her diaper and fed her she was like a new person. STILL not back to herself quite yet.. BUT we're on the mend!

Sports Outreach...

Friday we had a sports outreach. We played Volleyball at Margaret High School. Sports outreaches are a difficult thing for me because I am SUPER competitive … as many of you know.. AND sports in Africa don’t always have the same rules. What I mean is that the rules for the two teams.. aren’t always the same. It makes it harder when the students line the court and make fun of us. SO I get a little frustrated. BUT I am learning to have patience and enjoy the game. One of the MST's, Jillian, played division 1 volleyball at Texas A&M SO it was really fun to play with her. The first game was a train wreck but we got better as we went on. Sadly we lost in 2 games.. to young men in dress pants and shoes (or no shoes) BUT ... We will get better for next week i'm sure. Well I hope... haha

Brief overview of the week...

On Wednesdays we start our day at Katalemwa. Typically we are not allowed to take pictures but i specifically asked if it would be alright in this case. We told the story of David and Goliath. Craig played David, and in order to be really big.. Gabe put Sozi on his shoulders. It was SO cute!! Sozi is my favorite.

At Wankulukuku School.. I helped Cody with sharing his story of Shadrach Meshach and Abednego. I played King Nebekenezer.. and it was SO funny! The kids really get into it when we act it out. Especially because we act crazy!

Here i am speaking with Jonah (my strong servent) about how many people he put in the fire.. and how many we saw.. We are VERY distressed about the 4th man in the fire! haha

This was my crown as king. The kids thought it was hilarious. After we feed them, and do our program, we just get to hang out with them and play. It is awesome! There are so many cute kids at Wankulukuku but there are these sisters who might be the cutest things in the world. We love them and have a lot of fun playing with them.

After Wankulukuku I went to Nsambya to see Lola. She is a hot mess.. She has a fever and snotty nose. I am pretty sure it is just a cold but here a cold is a whole different world then at home. She is definitely not herself! She is very lethargic and sad. I just sat and held her. She is very whiny and needy.. but i'm perfectly fine with sitting and holding her all day.. so it is fine. I had a very mom moment because the nurse took her from me to give her medicine and all she did was look around the nurse to find me. Watching her be sick is so sad because i want to fix it, and there is nothing i can do. WHILE she was sick.. she looked VERY cute! I find that sometimes when i don't feel well, if i dress up and show up, it helps. I am pretty sure it didn't help in her case. Prayers would be appreciated though for a speedy recovery.