God works in Mysterious ways...

Every weekend we go to breakfast with some really great friends. I love it because we laugh and joke and have an awesome time. It is guaranteed to be fun. I don’t like to miss breakfast with the Rack family. So a few weekends ago we were having a discussion about the internet and Chris was saying that he was youtub..ing people singing the national anthem (this was right after Whitney Houston died). Just by clicking on the recommended videos to the side, he somehow found himself watching a video of Miley Cyrus and Poison singing Every rose has it’s thorn. It sparked a discussion on how you get from one thing to the next just by clicking around on the internet. While I don’t see the connection AT ALL between those things, I was sitting there thinking that I believe that things happen for a reason. Nothing is left to chance or without purpose, SO what was the reason behind that!? While I can’t make the connection between those two video’s, I believe there was a reason for everything that maybe will be understood at a later time. Things like that happen ALL the time except we don’t see the connection or understand it. Large things, small things, everything happens in a greater plan. Maybe the reason for that conversation was to spark my thinking about it, in order for me to more fully believe and comprehend the next time something similar would happen. And I think it did.

Everyone who knows me has heard me talk about my cousin Jill. Even people who don’t know
me well, but have seen the tattoo on my foot, have heard about my cousin Jill. If you haven't seen it, here it is...

She was a once in a lifetime kind of person. She inspired me while she was here, and while she isn’t here physically, has brought me comfort many times the past year. Jill had an incredible heart and a contagious smile. She was someone who could capture a room, simply by walking into it. She used to make me laugh all the time and was obviously very special. You could see it in her eyes. She was everyone’s favorite somebody. I could seriously talk about her for days but in a nut shell the tattoo on my foot is to remind me every day of the kind of person she was, and the kind of person I aspire to be. There have been many times where I have been stressed out or upset thinking about Lola in the babies home, and I have just asked Jill to go sit with Lola and talk to her. I mean, angels can do anything right, and I know that if Jill just sat with her and smiled, Lola would feel love. Obviously I have no idea if that is a reality or even a possibility, but I believe with all my heart that it is. Now we come to the connection to the first part…

So I was talking to my cousin Chris (Jill’s mom) on facebook because I wanted to share with her that I was thinking about Jill that day and why. We talked for a little bit and I went to work. When I checked my facebook later, I had this message…

melissa today was a special day for Jill and after I talked to you this morning I was surfing the web and goggled a favorite poem of hers, I love you to the moon and back, somehow it led me to a poem and I knew it was her wanting to get this to you.

if Lola could talk to you this is what she would say....

An Orphan's Prayer
Each night before I go to bed I fold my hands and bow my head Praying for a family and the day she will come for me. I ask God to watch over my friends at the orphanage, the place that I call home, Wishing we find families and rooms of our very own. I finish my prayers and climb into bed, Hoping that God heard what I said. My prayers usually turn out to be my dreams at night, Hoping she will be standing there when I wake to the morning light. One very special morning, I will hear their call, I jump out of bed and run down the hall! Is it her, Is it her, is that why they've called my name? Running I hear them shout "It's her, it's her, she finally came!" Have all my prayers been answered, have all my dreams come true There she is in front of me, Oh Mama! Oh Mama!! Is it really you?

"Yes, it is my darling, I've come to take you home," "I will love, protect and cherish and you will never be alone." Mama looks at me so differently a look so new to me, She touches me so gently, just as I dreamed it would be. As I look into her eyes I watch them fill with water, She embraces me and whispers, "I love you so my daughter". She takes my hand and I hold it tight, I will never let it go, I hold with all my might. Hand in hand we walk together, No one needs to speak; we know this is forever. And through our journey when we finally meet each other, She will have found her dream and I will have found my mother

for you from Jill and Lola...love ya

I sat and read this poem and cried, partially because the words in the poem and partially because I know that when I close my eyes and see Jill and Lola hanging out, maybe is more than just a dream or wish. I believe that things happen for a reason, and that this is no different. So I guess my point is don’t take for granted those moments where you stop and think about why something is... because you just never know how things may lead you to where you need to be. When I read that message from Jill (and Chris), I immediately thought about our conversation at the restaurant the day before. God works in mysterious ways is something my parents and grandparents have said my whole life, but sometimes we just may miss it. It is a lot easier to chalk things up to chance then to have faith in what we don’t see. It is easy to question and wonder. However if I have learned anything throughout this process so far, it is that things happen for a reason, and God is WAY bigger then any situation, distance, or obstacle that I am unable to face on my own. I just have to choose to believe it. I choose to take comfort in the fact that while this process seems long, and it is hard to have it so out of my hands, it is in God's and THAT is amazing. And while i may not understand the reasons for things that happen in my life, i go back to the verse that has been helping me process ALL the crazy things that have happened throughout this Adoption journey.

Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "

And man I CAN'T WAIT to see what that future looks like!! Its getting closer and closer everyday. But until then, i take comfort in knowing that I have an amazing angel on my side looking out for my little girl until i can get there to bring her home!

Thank you so much you two (Jill and Chris) for the reminder that while i am not in control, God is! I love you both!